Liber Liberi vel Lapidis Lazuli

2

II

Saturn

1
O my God! use Thou me again, alway. For ever! For ever!
2
That which came fire from Thee cometh water from me; let therefore Thy Spirit lay hold on me, so that my right hand loose the lightning.
3
Travelling through space, I saw the onrush of two galaxies, butting each other and goring like bulls upon earth. I was afraid.
4
Thus they ceased fight, and turned upon me, and I was sorely crushed and torn.
5
I had rather have been trampled by the World-Elephant.
6
O my God! Thou art my little pet tortoise!
7
Yet Thou sustainest the World-Elephant.
8
I creep under Thy carapace, like a lover into the bed of his beautiful; I creep in, and sit in Thine heart, as cubby and cosy as may be.
9
Thou shelterest me, that I hear not the trumpeting of that World-Elephant.
10
Thou art not worth an obol in the agora; yet Thou art not to be bought at the ransom of the whole Universe.
11
Thou art like a beautiful Nubian slave leaning her naked purple against the green pillars of marble that are above the bath.
12
Wine jets from her black nipples.
13
I drank wine awhile agone in the house of Pertinax. The cup-boy favoured me, and gave me of the right sweet Chian.
14
There was a Doric boy, skilled in feats of strength, an athlete. The full moon fled away angrily down the wrack. Ah! but we laughed.
15
I was pernicious drunk, O my God! Yet Pertinax brought me to the bridal.
16
I had a crown of thorns for all my dower.
17
Thou art like a goat's horn from Astor, O Thou God of mine, gnarl'd and crook'd and devilish strong.
18
Colder than all the ice of all the glaciers of the Naked Mountain was the wine it poured for me.
19
A wild country and a waning moon. Clouds scudding over the sky. A circuit of pines, and of tall yews beyond. Thou in the midst!
20
O all ye toads and cats, rejoice! Ye slimy things, come hither!
21
Dance, dance to the Lord our God!
22
He is he! He is he! He is he!
23
Why should I go on?
24
Why? Why? comes the sudden cackle of a million imps of hell.
25
And the laughter runs.
26
But sickens not the Universe; but shakes not the stars.
27
God! how I love Thee!
28
I am walking in an asylum; all the men and women about me are insane.
29
Oh madness! madness! madness! desirable art thou!
30
But I love Thee, O God!
31
These men and women rave and howl; they froth out folly.
32
I begin to be afraid. I have no check; I am alone. Alone. Alone.
33
Think, O God, how I am happy in Thy love.
34
O marble Pan! O false leering face! I love Thy dark kisses, bloody and stinking! O marble Pan! Thy kisses are like sunlight on the blue Aegean; their blood is the blood of the sunset over Athens; their stink is like a garden of Roses of Macedonia.
35
I dreamt of sunset and roses and vines; Thou wast there, O my God, Thou didst habit Thyself as an Athenian courtesan, and I loved Thee.
36
Thou art no dream, O Thou too beautiful alike for sleep and waking!
37
I disperse the insane folk of the earth; I walk alone with my little puppets in the garden.
38
I am Gargantuan great; yon galaxy is but the smoke-ring of mine incense.
39
Burn Thou strange herbs, O God!
40
Brew me a magic liquor, boys, with your glances!
41
The very soul is drunken.
42
Thou art drunken, O my God, upon my kisses.
43
The Universe reels; Thou hast looked upon it.
44
Twice, and all is done.
45
Come, O my God, and let us embrace!
46
Lazily, hungrily, ardently, patiently; so will I work.
47
There shall be an End.
48
O God! O God!
49
I am a fool to love Thee; Thou art cruel, Thou withholdest Thyself.
50
Come to me now! I love Thee! I love Thee!
51
O my darling, my darling - Kiss me! Kiss me! Ah! but again.
52
Sleep, take me! Death, take me! This life is too full; it pains, it slays, it suffices.
53
Let me go back into the world; yea, back into the world.
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